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Thursday, July 26, 2007

Try again

Okay, so the fiber burger did not work. Damn it. I've read in several places that you should fast a dog with diarrhea, but I'm not sure if you're supposed to do that with a cancer dog. I'm not sure which is more important - the nutrition and calories or taming the GI distress. I've asked the Canine Cancer forum on Yahoo and am awaiting an answer. In the meantime, I will jump in the shower and then run out prep the car to get ready for the long round trip to the vet's office.

I've always been a person who schedules things, both short-term and long. However, it's weird now that my schedule is not based on actual time, rather on Watson's colon and bladder. I love him to death and am so neurotic about being here to let him out. He will literally pop up from wherever he's laying and make a beeline for the door. The least I can do is be around to let him out!

But again I question if this is the right path.... he's still here mentally.. but it's tough to see the changes in his body. He's thinned out a bit, but still has the slightly protruding belly (because of the enlarged spleen?? not sure since I forgot to ask the vet) He's a little unsteady on his feet but is also still determined to make it up the three steps out front. I was talking to Rich this morning about how we would know when it was time... I don't know how to quantify this situation. Is three more months of life worth it if you feel like shit for two of them??

I need to calm myself down and wait to hear what the onco says tomorrow. If he says this is the best life Watson will have, then I have to ask if it's a good life to be going #2 ten times a day from now until the end. I want to give him a chance to fight, but this is a road I have not traveled before. I don't know the way...... and I'm scared to lead myself and him down the wrong path. He trusts me to make the right decision and I am almost collapsing under that burden.

1 comment:

keeshablizz13 said...

Linda...your sweet Watson is gorgeous...he deserves giving chemo a chance....when you are so stressed try to keep the "BIG PICTURE" in focus...this is a little battle won gets you more quality time with your Prince....I know it's hard to see him have difficulties...He loves you...stay strong..Love Sue & Keesha in NJ