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Wednesday, October 17, 2007

Two months and two days

It has been exactly two months and two days since Watson passed away. How time flies. Lesley, if you still read this blog, I have to tell you that you were right. Time passes and at some point you say to yourself "I feel better". His illness and death seem so far away at this moment. At some point I've stopped looking behind me and have moved forward.... just a little bit though, as I still miss the sound of his paws on the tile floor, and I still look for his sweet face staring from the landing at the top of the stairs when I go up for bed.

I started letting Waldo sleep upstairs with us. He's in Watson's old spot, right next to my side of the bed. The choice was either to let him come up or to put the bed away. I couldn't really stand to wake up and see the empty bed anymore. I have pretty much sniffed Watson's smell right out of it anyway.

I do still sleep with Watson's collar next to my pillow. Morbid, perhaps, but I will often fall asleep with it in my hands and thinking of the Old Man. I say a little prayer for him and tell him once again that I hope he knows we loved him, and that we tried to do right by him.... There is so much I know now about canine lymphoma that I didn't know before... I'm ready for the "next time" but my heart is still heavy that I had to learn it all at Watson's expense. I'm sorry, Bubbe, we tried.....


Graham, Prince & Tilly said...

I'm so pleased that you're managing to move forward, and delighted to hear that dear little Waldo's snuck upstairs! Princes collar is still at the end of my bed, but like you I've sniffed every ounce of scent out of it now. I'm still really struggling, but will hopefully get there in the end...

Melisa said...

Hey Linda,
I know just where you're at. I still, after 4 years, keep Bijoux's (the real Ruby!) collar in the kitchen cabinet that holds my cookbooks and other odd stuff, where I "accidentally" come across it every now and then. :)


Lesley Rigby said...

Hi Linda,

I do still read your blog but only every few days as you can see. I think I was having a good day when I said I felt better although I know nature heals spiritually as well as physically. I still do have days when I think it is the end of the world without my cuddly little boy. I don't want to take you down with me but the hardest thing I find now is taking Tilly for walks where we used to take Prince. She is so different- wonderful in many of her own special ways, but what Graham and I had with Prince doesn't come overnight and I miss that so much.

Waldo is coming over as a real treasure and I am so glad he is now sleeping next to you on Watsons bed - I'll bet he is to!

You deserve such happiness for being the kind caring person that you are and so "Keep your chin up" and remember Watson would be happy for you to forget him for a while than to remember him and be sad. I must repeat that to myself like a mantra!!!

With Love,
Lesley XX