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Monday, September 17, 2007

one month

It's been one month since Watson passed. The date was actually yesterday, the 16th, but I wasn't in front of the computer at all. We went to the Big E, the New England equivalent to a state fair, so I was quite distracted by fried food, airbrushed clothing and other oddities. It wasn't until I got home later in the evening that I realized the date.

Four weeks. It seems like forever and yesterday that it all happened. Truly, I am still haunted by the look on his face as he lay on the table. It was a mix of concern for me (like "why are you crying?") and a curiosity as to why he was lying on his own bed at the vet's office. He never took his eyes off of me, even as the vet administered the shot. A blessing and curse, that look was. I see it in my mind all the time.

His ashes are still in the wooden box he arrived in from the vet. I have every intention of finding his ashes a new, nicer-looking home, but just haven't had the courage to start the process yet. I miss him.... my Old Man. Waldo keeps me busy but he can't replace my Watson.

On Saturday, Pam from the Canine Cancer board held a candle-lighting ceremony in her garden for all the dogs that have passed on. She burns heir name on a stake and places it in Sierra's Garden, named for her own canine angel. To date, she has over 300 stakes. too many.. She asked everyone to also light two candles and place them outside that night. One for the living who continue to fight and one for the angels who have passed on. I did my part and lit my candles so, as Pam wrote in her post, the ones who have passed on can look down and see all the people who miss and love them around the world.

Ah, and here the tears come again...

2 comments:

Graham, Prince & Tilly said...

It's funny how these 'timestamps' - a week, a month, six weeks etc... mean so much yet so little. Like you, I've still got things to do, like buy a chest to keep all Princes things safe, but these things will come in time. I'd rather wait until I find the right one rather than rush. I don't know if you're finding this yet, but I have a couple of days when I'm OK, and then a terrible day totally out of the blue. Despite Tilly trying her best to fill every moment with joy (she's a real sweetheart), there's still a big void in life. I'm sure it's the same with you and Waldo. I don't know what we'd do without them 'helping' though....

Golden Dreams said...

We lost our golden to HSA in April '06. We still have his ashes in our living room next to his picture and collar. It just felt right to keep him in the room where we all spent so much time.

A friend from the Canine Cancer list sent me pictures from the ceremony and I spotted our candle. You are right, there are way too many.